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Thank-You Note Etiquette |
Did your mother teach you to always write your thank-you notes? If you're like 99% of our customers, the answer is yes. But, if you are like 99% of our customers, your busy life leaves you little time to shop for gifts, let alone, write thank you notes. So what is the current thinking on thank you notes? When do you write, call, e-mail or just say a big "thank youÓ in person? And how long do you have for any of the above responses?
Emily Post, who is still the world's leading authority on issues of etiquette, says the following:
"Give yourself a gold star if you sat right down and wrote that thank you letter before the New Year. And since you are obviously a highly evolved person, skip the rest of this article. For the rest of us, mired in post holiday struggle of taking down the tree, putting away the decorations and vacuuming ever multiplying pine needles, here's a little encouragement.
We all love getting presents and are sincerely thankful, but some of us procrastinate terribly about writing our notes. Somehow, thank you note writing moved from the pleasure category to the chore category. One friend, bemoaning the fact that she had to write not only her notes to far-flung family and friends, but also notes for her three children and her husband, hit upon a brilliant idea. She had a party. She invited her children and husband on a Sunday afternoon in January to the kitchen table. Everything was ready: note paper, pens, pencils, crayons, envelopes, address book, stamps and lists. The smallest (ages 4 - 6) drew pictures of their gifts and Mom and Dad added dictated captions and thank you's. The 7-8 year olds wrote one or two sentences, practicing new writing skills. The 9 and olders wrote a short paragraph. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad helped with spelling words and addressing, and, in the quiet moments, wrote a few notes themselves. When everyone was finished, there was cocoa and cookies. My friend was amazed at how successful - and what fun! - the afternoon was. All the notes were done and the family had time to be together and talk about their holiday, friends and relatives. It became a family tradition.
Traditionally, if you open a gift in the presence of the giver, you need not write a note. All other gifts should be acknowledged with a note.
The person receiving the gift writes the note. Parents will need to write or take dictation for children who cannot yet write. If Aunt Mary sent each person in the family an individual gift, you might write a "group" note, mentioning each gift with a comment from the recipient. It is perfectly OK for husbands and wives to split the list for gifts they received as a couple.
As soon as possible, but BETTER A LITTLE LATE THAN NEVER!!!
Sure! A picture of Susie in the outfit that grandma and grandpa sent is a great thank you - as long as you include a few words of thanks. Children not yet old enough to write can dictate or draw pictures.
The jury is still out, so we are still weighing in on the side of snail mail for holiday gift thank you's. Certainly e-mail has become an acceptable form of communication and its use to send a thank you is appropriate to acknowledge assistance given, a favor done or a small gift, especially if you and the person you are thanking correspond frequently by e-mail. However, a handwritten note sent through the regular mail is the nicest way to show appreciation and is the form you should use to send thanks for holiday, birthday or wedding gifts." |
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